YOU JUST CAN`T PLEASE THEM

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman.

If you don`t you are not a man.

If you praise her, she thinks you are sucking up.

If you don`t, you are self-centered and aren`t noticing her enough.

If you agree to all her likes, you are a wuss because you let her control you.

If you don`t, you are selfish and just don`t understand her needs.

If you visit her too often, she thinks you are boring.

If you don`t visit her often enough, you are inattentive.

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy.

If you are not well-dressed, she says you are a slob.

If you are jealous, she says that is bad.

If you are not, she thinks you don`t love her.

If you attempt "romance," she says you don`t respect her.

If you don`t, she wonders why you think something is wrong with her.

If you are a minute late, she complains of the wait.

If she is an hour late, she says, "That`s a girl`s way."

If you flirt with another woman, she accuses you of being unfaithful.

If she flirts with another man, she says, "Oh, it`s only natural for women."

If you kiss her too often, she says "You are smothering me!"

If you don`t kiss her often enough, she thinks you are a cold fish.

If you stare at others, she calls you a clod.

If she stares at others, she is only "admiring."

If she talks, she wants you to listen

If you listen, she wants you to talk.